Lusting For Her Touch
by TheTercottaRise
Summary: The feelings for Spencer Hastings increases everyday that I know her. My heart breaks every single minute she looks at him with the lust in her eyes. My heart beats a mile a minute when she looks at me with a smile. I knew where her feelings stood for me, I was her bestfriend, nothing more and nothing less. The one thing she didn't know was that I looked at her with lust in my eyes
1. Prologue

_The title might make it seem like its a M rated story, but its not at all...actually honestly I am very uncomfortable writing those kinds of scenes. I got this story one late night while thinking about my favorite Spoby couple and after watching that killer sneak peek yesterday. Almost making me forgot what happened between them before the doll house. ALMOST. I was so hoping for a make out...too bad Spencer left a very suspicious person behind. Well we all know she tells him in this episode I am guessing that night since he had his uniform on. Okay well let's get it started in here spobettes._ **- _Katrina_**

* * *

 **Prologue**

Lust.

When most people hears this word come out of somebody's mouth they think intercourse of some sort. It was also something Toby Cavanaugh had described his feeling for his very popular best friend, Spencer Hastings. His friendship with Spencer was all fun and games, full of laughter, something Spencer hardly did without Toby. Their friendship has possibly been one of the longest friendships in the history of Rosewood High. Toby had known the Hastings girl for quite some time now, 8 years, 5 months, and 4 days.

Spencer came from a long line of the rich Hastings. Her parents had their hearts set for both of their daughters to go to the ivy league school, University of Pennsylvania. Spencer has her dream set on going to that magnificent school, her dream began when she was about 6 years old. Toby was more of Spencer's moral support, when her parents would upset her by saying something about how she isn't good enough for UPenn. The young woman now turning almost 17 years old in a couple of days, had finally done something in her life to make her parents love her like gold. Andrew Campbell.

Spencer and Andrew's relationship started out like most relationships full of love, trust, and happiness. That all came crashing down when Spencer had introduced Andrew to Toby. Their relationship has been on thin ice ever since, Spencer was scared that Andrew, her first love, would break up with her, but Toby doing his job as her bestfriend reassured that nothing of that sort was going to happen at all.

Today was a lovely summer day, it was June 15th a week before the Hastings birthday, on June 22. The wind was blow gently against the Rosewood trees, making the green leaves fly from the trees and land on the green grass that blowed toward the south. Heat waves had been forcasted to go through Rosewood today, possibly making the heat index go up to 100°.

Toby feets patted against the hardwood flooring in his new experiment. He had decided to move out of his crummy home about a month ago and buy his own place, getting a loft in a very convenient spot, above the Brew. Spencer Hastings was located directly under Toby Cavanaugh sipping her morning coffee, while finishing her new book, not new book, the book she had actually read about 4 times now, but still couldn't get enough of it. The Catcher in the Rye, also one of Toby's favorites too.

Spencer had her eyes so fixated on the page, that she was completely oblivious to what was going on right behind her. All of the sudden she felt a pair of hands grab ahold of her perfect curls and move them around, making them messy. "Toby." Spencer warns turning around and making eye contact with the blue eyed boy, who was smiling the whole time.

"Nice to see you up this early pumpkin." Toby greets taking a seat across from his bestfriend, and grabbing her coffee cup. "Don't you think you have had enough of this stuff already. I mean come on Spence, you have a serious addiction."

Toby lifts the cup up to his mouth and takes a sip of the black coffee, that instantly fills his veins full of caffeine. His tired blue eyes open up very widely after the coffee sets into his body. Toby looks up at Spencer with a grin, who is glaring at him and holding her hand out waiting for him to return the coffee she desperately wanted. The mocha eyed girl began to whine a bit, but evently launched out of her seat and grabs ahold of Toby's arm reaching for her cup. "Toby please." Spencer begs making a pouty face.

Toby sighs before handing her back the beverage. "Okay fine, but in about 3 years don't come crying to me for a new heart." Toby jokes with a smile that could brighten up the whole world if they saw it. It instantly made Spencer's eyes light up when she saw her bestfriend was the person who came above everyone, well Toby was holding the key to Spencer's heart until the day, Andrew Campbell became Spencer Hastings new bestfriend ans boyfriend.

* * *

 _What did you guys think? Follow, favorite, and review. Thanks guy...I hope you enjoyed this small little thing. I will be posting the first chapter to this story soon. Like a week. **-Katrina**_


	2. Chapter 1: Jealous

_Aww thanks for all of the kind support and everything this is by far one of the longest chapters I have written in the history of Fanfiction. I also don't mind if you guys ask me some personal questions..I with be alright with that as along as theythey don't get to personal. This chapter will include...(not in this order)_ _~flashbacks_ _~Toby and Spencer friendship_ _~someone being very jealous (I think you guys can guess that one) Without further ado I present the longest chapter of all chapter 1. **-Katrina**_

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Jealous**

Spencer was on top of the world right now. She would officially be 17 years old, one more year closer to graduating and using the Hastings name to good use. Her outfit for the day was a cream skirt, a shirt, a jean jacket, and a pair of flats. She had invited Toby over to have brunch with her, considering she knew there wouldn't be any time to spend with him later in the week.

Toby rapped his hand on the door, waiting for his lovely and beautiful bestfriend to answer the door. She opened the door looking her typical ways, she was gorgeous like she usually was. The teenager had to blink a couple of times to get himself under control before doing something drastic that could forever change his friendship with Spencer.

She smiles at him with her usual greeting and grabs ahold of his hand and pulls him outside into the hot weather that had been in Rosewood for a couple of days. People in Rosewood weren't use to the heat waves and the harmful UV rays that could damage your skin. Toby remembers the day when Andrew was added the equation, it was also the worst day of his life. The day had started out great, it was also the day he was going to tell Spencer Hastings his true feeling for her and it all started like this.

* * *

 _It was a cold winter day, about three degrees below the freezing mark. Patches of sun was left on the ground after the last snow storm they got a couple of days earlier. His boots made a swishing noise as he walked through the now slush. He looks up to see the Hastings household in eyesight, with a 2 years old, Taylor Thomas standing in the water puddles._

 _H walked up the driveway and was greeted my a very familiar smiling face. "Toby hi." Spencer greets wrapping her long skinny arms around Toby's built body. Toby had already thought the day thought from beginning to the end. He was wanting to take her to a nice restaurant and then ask her to be his girlfriend up by the cliff overlooking the town. "I'm sorry Toby, but I can't go out today. My stupid parents are trying to make me and Melissa bond again like we are 8 years old and fighting over a doll._

 _Toby feels his heart crack. Hearing that she couldn't go on this special day planned made a frown appear on his face. Spencer notices this and raises an eyebrow. Toby shakes his head. "It's fine, but as soon as you can go out I am taking you somewhere nice, so I can show you how much I appreciate you." Toby tells her. The brunette smiles and pinches Toby's cheek._

 _"Aww Cavanaugh that is so sweet of you. I promise I will start dialing the phone when Melissa leaves with her brat of a daughter. I mean Taylor acts just like Melissa and sometimes like Ian, which is the worst part about it." Spencer complains leaning her head against Toby's shoulder. He wrapped a protect arm around her waist showing her he wasn't going anywhere. "Thank you." Spencer whispers in a raspy voice._

 _They walk into the house together where they are greeted by two unknown adults and Andrew Campbell their son. Spenxer furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What's going on?" Spencer questions stepping a couple of steps away from Toby. Peter laughs a bit before grabbing his daughter's arm with a grip and gesturing to the two parents._

 _"These are my new clients and that is their son, Andrew. Andrew told me that you went to school with him. Is that right?" Peter asks his younger daughter with a smile. Spencer looks at him confused. The biggest thought running through Spencer's mind right now was why was her dad smiling at his daughter with so much proudness, when half the time he is yelling at her for not being good enough._

 _"Yeah I know Andrew, he is on the decathlon team." Spencer answers before throwing a smile Andrew's way. "Hey Andrew. Hi Mr. and Mrs. Campbell." Spencer greets with a slightly awkward smile. Spencer stares at Andrew for a couple of seconds unsure of what to do._

 _The silence around them feels like a big storm cloud weighing heavenly on their shoulders. Andrew steps closer to Spencer breaking the silence._

 _"I actually came over here for a reason Spencer. I was wondering if you wanted to go out on a date with me tonight?" Andrew asks grabbing ahold of her soft perfect hands. The young girl contemplates on whether to go out with Toby tonight or take Andrew up on his offer. Spencer glances over at her parents who are giving g her the thumbs up with their smiles._

 _Spencer blinks a couple of times before answering a simple. "Sure."_

 _Those words cut Toby's heart like a knife. He couldn't believe that the love of his life was going on a date with another guy. Toby looks down at his hands wishing that he would have asked her the night before or possibly a couple of moments before entering the house._

* * *

Spencer tugs on Toby's hand harder as she brings him through the doors of the new clothing store. Rouji. Most of the time, Spencer would bring, Hanna Marin, to these sort of things. Hanna was one of the biggest fashion people in the town of Rosewood. She even had her own clothing store outside of Philly, sometimes Spencer would go there to do her shopping, but since the drive was out of her reach she settled on her favorite clothing store in Rosewood.

The young woman started rummaging through racks full of shirts. She pulled out a mint colored shirt that was v neck. Spencer was trying to find something to wear to the miniature party Hanna was throwing for her, because her parents were throwing her a bigger party on her actual birthday. Spencer let's you an exhausting sigh after putting in only a shirt and skirt, she hadn't even made it over to the shoes she already hated shopping.

Toby came up behind her and started rubbing her shoulders. "Relax." he leans down and whispers in her ear. Spencer leans her head back a bit during the massage, she was wishing that this would never end. She could always count on Toby being the one to take away all of the stress she would endear over the week.

Spencer turns around after Toby releases her from the grip he had on her shoulders. Her eyes meet his blue eyes that were full of happiness and love, when he looked at her. "Thank you for the small massage. I can always count on you to help me, so do you mind helping me find a pair of stylish shoes that Hanna hopefully likes."

The friends fall into a fit of laughter after Spencer's comment. Toby smirks a bit before walking over to the shoe department of the store. He faces her after stopping in the area that was full of all kinds of shoes. He clears his throat before speaking. "You do realize that anything you pick out. Hanna Marin is going to hate because she didn't find it for you and so she can show off her fashion side." Toby tells her. Spencer shrugs her shoulders.

"Yeah I know that, but sometimes I buy ugly things just to agitate her. What are the ugliest shoes in this department?" Spencer asks herself before her eyes landed on a pair of bar green high heels. "Perfect." Spencer whispers as if she saw an angel. Toby raises an eye brown before letting a small chuckle.

"You know Hanna is probably going to start braking orders at you when you get to this party, then she is going to see those shoes and hit you with them and make you go bare foot." Toby explains already have the night planned out. Spencer rolls her eyes before putting her foot into the right size. The tag on the back of the shoes read '9' in silver letters.

"How do they look?" Spencer asks standing up and showing off her ugly shoes to Toby taking a couple of steps. Toby pinches the bridge of his nose before inhaling.

"Disgusting enough to get yourself killed. Spence, Hanna is going to have a panic attack when she sees those shoes on your feet. You know what I am going to laugh when she says that's they are okay to wear." Toby jokes before helping Spencer unbuckle the shoes and set them back into the box perfectly. His blue eyes settle on a dark brunette standing a couple of feet away with her back turned away from them. "Is that Paige?" Toby asks gesturing to the woman across the room.

Spencer's coffee bean colored eyes move from Toby's blue eyes to the brunette's hair trying to figure out if anything is familiar about her. The almost 17 year old continues to keep her eyes locked onto the unknown person. When she turns around her hazel eyes lock onto the blue eyes and mocha eyes. She puts a hand over her mouth before making a break for the bathrooms across the room leaving a confused Toby and Spencer.

Spencer walks up the counter and pays for her clothes not even acknowledging what Paige just did. As soon as they step outside Spencer's mouth starts talking about the situation they were just in. "Why did she run away from us? I thought her and Emily were still dating?" Spencer questions like she is interrogating someone in front of her.

Toby thought back to the last time he spoke to his other friend, it was a couple of days ago and Emily looked distracted. He had walked down the stairs of his loft buying a coffee to go, when he saw Emily sitting at a table staring off into space. She had her eyes fixated on the cup of coffee in front of her as if it was going to move or do something different.

"I talk her a couple of days ago and nothing seemed to be the matter." Spencer remembers. Toby shakes his head putting a hand in front of Spencer, to stop her before she becomes all detective on her friends.

"I saw Emily a couple of days ago at the Brew sitting alone, she looked lonely and in deep thought. Maybe the two broke up or something." Toby assumes with a shrug. Spencer scoffs at his words.

"You just told me not to go all detective on you. Yet here you are assuming things making me want to go find out the truth behind all of this weirdness."

"Okay fine I will stop guessing, as long as you do your part and don't go all crazy on me. Got it Spence?" Toby asks making a deal with her. She nods her head before getting into her favorite tan truck that she loved like her own baby, that she shared with Toby.

* * *

Hanna Marin had taken their group of friends to one of the hottest clubs in Philadelphia. Spencer was sitting in one of the bar stools by the bar with her blue eyed friend accompanying her. She took a drink of the tequila that was set in front of her trying to forget the night with her ugly shoes.

"Woo Spencer, you need to slow down. You are suppose to be enjoying the night. Not getting drunk off your ass where you don't remember anything about tonight." Toby reminds taking away the glass of alcohol set in front of her. "Why don't you try some water?" Toby suggests.

Spencer throws a glare his way before ordering any alcoholic beverage to get her mind away from everyone. It seemed like everything everyone did tonight pisses her off, so she decided to try and relax herself by drinking away the pain. Toby starts thinking about reasons why Spencer would act in such a hateful mood towards him and her friends, then the thought hit him like a lightbulb.

"This is about Andrew isn't it?" Toby asks breaking her out of her sorrows. "Spencer don't get all depressed over this guy. He doesn't deserve to be with such an amazing and beautiful person." Toby expresses to her coming from his heart, the heart that Spencer also held a key to.

Spencer chugs another drink before setting it down with a loud 'clatter'. "You probably mean that he deserves better don't you? I am not beautiful or amazing I deserve the worst girlfriend award. I mean that's what he did he served it up on a big silver platter. 'I am breaking up with you'." Spencer laughs after saying this. "Oh and it gets better when he said. I mean wrote it out on a piece of paper. He didn't even have the courage to talk it out with me, he took a glance at me and took off for the front door."

A tear hits the counter. The first tear that Spencer has let come out of her beautiful mocha eyes. It was also the first tear she was ever cried for Andrew. Andrew's name sounded bitter in her mouth. All of sudden, Spencer felt a swept of rage go through her veins making steam come out of her nose and ears.

Spencer wipes away the tear that stopped on her cheek, making sure that was the last tear she would cry for her ex boyfriend. Spencer stops thinking for a couple of seconds and grabs ahold of Toby's hand.

"I am going to forget about Andrew tonight and you are going to be the one to help me. Got it?" Spencer demands gritting her teeth together. Her brown eyes had fire in them, Toby couldn't help, but fall even more in love with her. If anything Toby though she looked hot when she was full of rage and had that fire look in her eyes.

Spencer stops in front of her group of friends and greets them for the first time tonight. She gives them a reassuring smile. "I think we are going to go home. She is a little wild and angry." Toby tells them still keeping his hand wrapped around her wrist making sure she didn't walk away.

"Okay well I guess we'll talk to her tomorrow." Hanna says. Toby gives them a smile before dragging Spencer out of the bar and to his loft.

* * *

The sunlight rays poured into Spencer's room as the day turned from night to morning. The alarm clock next to her bed began to rapidly beat, signaling it was time to get up. Spencer groaned and turned over on her side letting her arm fall off the bed and dangle off the side. Spencer was officially hating herself and her body for making her drink that much last night. Toby walks into the room watching Spencer from the doorway with a smile.

Spencer groans again when Toby walks over to one of the barely opened windows and opens it letting a bunch of sunlight into the room. He looked at her beauty from afar, her heart shaped face, her dark brown waves, and her pink colored lips that he just wanted to kiss repeatedly. At this point, Toby didn't know what was stopping him. Was it the fact that Andrew and Spencer just broke up or was it that she was too vulnerable for something like that? Toby watch as her hair turned and her hair flipped every couple of minutes, when she tossed and turned, after opening up the window she sat straight up and throw up over the edge.

Toby cringe at the throw up and puts his fingers to the bridge of his nose, trying not to inhale the horrible smell. Spencer puts a hand to her temple before apply a bunch of pressure trying to make the pain go away. Toby walks out of the room, grabbing a sponge and some water to clean away the smell. He walks into the bed room noticing a trail of socks leading into the bathroom, mentally slapping himself he knocks on the bathroom door gently.

"Spencer?" Toby asks rapping his hand against the door instantly getting her attention. She opens the door wearing the same clothes with a horrible look on her face.

"Why did you let me get that drunk. My head hurts and it feels like someone keeps hitting me in the head repeatedly. My temples are throbbing and my stomach feels like crap." Spencer described walking over to the couch and collapsing.

"That my friend is a hangover, which happens when you consume too much alcohol and the body rejects all of it. Sorry I probably should have warned you, but you being smarty pants I thought already knew what it was." Toby sarcastically says to her before taking a seat next to her and grabbing a cup of coffee that was just brewed. "You are lucky I didn't get drunk, but I would always put my bestfriend in front of myself."

Spencer smiles. "Don't be a smartass with me Cavanaugh, but I am happy to know that you cherish your friends and not leave them drunk somewhere." Spencer continues. "Thank you though for helping me last night. I was trying to drink away the sorrows i'm still trying to get over the fact that Andrew broke up with me over the most stupidest thing ever."

"What?"

Spencer scratches the back of her neck. "I don't want to talk about it yet." she murmurs in a tired voice before leaning against Toby. He puts his hands into her dark waves brushing them with the tips of his fingers. Spencer hums against his chest falling back into a deep slumber. Toby smiles before setting her back down onto the bed. The phone next to Spencer beeps. The blue eyed teenager picked up the phone opening the text message.

 _I'm sorry Spence, let me make it up to you. I love you. **-Andrew**_

Jealous.

He starts feeling waves of jealousy go through his body. He had never felt this jealous. He wanted to be the guy to text Spencer that he actually loves her. He knows that she loves him, but he wanted their love for each other to bigger, then what he let's on. He hated Andrew for whatever he did to his friend. He pushes the red button making the text message delete from the entire phone.

* * *

 _What did you guys think. Only 5 reviews, but thank you for them. Please continue to review, favorite, and follow. I would like 5 more reviews before updating again. Thank for all of the reviews. **-Katrina**_


	3. Chapter 2: Who Do You Want?

_Thank you for the continued support. I plan to do an update at least once a week for my supporters. Well here we go loves. I didn't get that many reviews last chapter, but I can always count on my bestie to review on my story. Will you guys possibly get more reviews. I would love to see them. Ask all the questions you want about me. - **Katrina.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Who Do You Want?**

Spencer felt bile creep up her throat making her jump from the bed and run to the bathroom letting her warm feet pat against the very cold hard floor ground. The girl made it to the bathroom on time letting out all of her bile into the porcelain toilet. She heard a small cackle behind her, making her head shot up and throw a glare the man's way.

Spencer sat up and rested her head against the glass shower door that sat on the other side of the toilet. Toby smiles at her before flushing the cold white toilet and sitting down next to her. He rubs her back into small gentle circles making her smile at him with a slight look of happiness in her eyes.

Happiness.

This was probably the first time today he had seen that look of gleam in her eyes. All night lastnight she had the look of devastation and sadness definitely not happiness. Toby stood up for a second making his way to the kitchen grabbing a glass of cold water and toast. He brings it into the bathroom and puts it in her hand.

"You need to drink and eat, so you can stay dehydrated." Toby reminds her holding the glass of water while she took a small bite of the burnt toast. He let's a small smile slip out, Spencer notices this and lightly tips her glass of water onto his pants. "Hey!" he exclaims jumping back trying to avoid the tap water. The water splashed against his dark wash jeans making a small water stain right around his center area. "Great." he mumbles wiping off the rest of the water droplets that were left over after the spill.

"Well next time don't laugh at a person who is hungover especially your bestfriend because if you do laugh you are going to suffer many consequences. On the list of things is a water spill and you don't want to know what is next on the list." Spencer explains finishing off the piece of bread and rubbing her hands together trying to get the left over crumbs off of her hands and shirt. "I should probably call my parents and let them know I am all right." Spencer tells him reaching for the phone sitting on the counter. She turned on the phone and a bunch of new messages popped up.

"I can't believe it." Spencer angrily says before slamming her phone down on the counter and grabbing her jacket laying on the sofa. "Geez can't they leave me alone for one minute about it?"

Toby looks at her with complete confusion trying to figure out what Spencer was mumbling about. "What?" Toby asks with a small smile.

"My parents keep asking me a million questions about Andrew and me. Asking why I broke up with him, except he broke up with me. If I am getting back together with him? Stuff like that." Spencer responds before her eyes increase about two sizes. "I can't believe that ass texted me after I told him to stay out of my life forever. Can the guy take a hit when I didn't answer any of his phone calls." Spencer goes on about making Toby lean against the couch in exhaustion considering he got zero sleep last night.

"Spencer you're talking to the wrong person. I think you have officially got into Hanna territory for this conversation." he tells her walking over to the bedroom to get a new pair of pants.

Spencer heard her phone beep. She saw that her mom had texted her to come home and talk them about something important. The mocha eyed teen looked towards the closed bedroom door and then looked the way to the main door. "Hey Toby I have to go my mom wants me home!" Spencer yells trying to gain his attention.

"Okay." a muffled voice says from the bedroom before opening the door and reappearing by her side. "I am going to take you home considering your car is at Hanna's."

Spencer mentally slaps herself remembering that her car wasn't sitting in the front. She had completely forgotten that last night was her birthday celebration and Hanna had taken them to the club, but Toby went by himself. Spencer nods her head before walking out the door with Toby right behind her locking the door to the loft.

* * *

Anger.

Everywhere she looked she saw her parents yelling at each other. Trying to figure out Spencer's life and what she is doing wrong. She watches as her mom's body flinches when the brunette's dad raising his voice another octave. Her parents were arguing about her being with Andrew, where she was going to college next, and who she was with last night. As soon as Spencer walked into the kitchen with Toby next to her, her parents started going into a yelling fit. She shakes her head while looking between her parents and stomps upstairs feeling angry. She hated the fact that her parents decided on her future. Her future. Usually kids got to pick where they wanted to go to college at, who they dated.

In the Hastings household, they made every decision from what you wear that day to how many kids you have. Spencer had the worst parents in the world right next to her best friend Toby's parents. That was one of the main things that brought Spencer and Toby together, Toby's parents didn't even acknowledge his existence and only paid attention to Toby's crummy step sister, Jenna Marshall. When Toby was a couple years younger he was in a forced relationship with her until Garrett Reynolds throw a firecracker into the Cavanaugh's shed. Jenna had blamed it all on Toby saying he did it, getting him sent to reform school for a year.

Those were the hardest years for Spencer and Toby. The first day Toby got out the horrible place, he went directly to his best friend's house to spend time with her. Spencer was the only reason Toby was living in this horrific town of Rosewood. To be honest, Toby Cavanaugh would go anywhere, but Rosewood.

Spencer leaned back against her bed closing her eyes trying to get comfortable, but seconds later she hears a crash come from downstairs. Making her coffee bean eyes open, she creeper down the stairs to see her mom, Veronica Hastings, leaning against the stove with her hands covering her face. Peter Hastings was standing over Veronica with a frying pan in his hand full of some kind of grease. Spencer moves a bit. The sudden movement Spencer made drawed attention to her. Spencer moved a couple of steps up slowly hoping he would just look now come over to her direction.

Hope breeds eternal misery.

Peter Hastings starts making his way over to Spencer clenching the pan hard, making the top of his knuckles turn a pale white color. Spencer feels her heart start beating a mile a minute the closer her dad got to her the faster her heart would go. Peter hit the pan against the palm of his hand, making a statement.

He set the pan aside, grabs her wrist roughly pulling her closer to him. Spencer felt a stinging sensation come from her wrists as his grip became stronger. "If you tell anyone about this you're going to regret it for the rest of your life." Peter spits in Spencer's face before releasing her from the grip and pushing her back.

Spencer falls to the ground and watches as her dad makes an escape for the door. Out of all the years she had known her dad, she never thought he would be capable to do something like this, especially to his own family. The young brunette pulled herself up and walked to her room where her phone sat before dialing a familiar phone number, that was stuck in her memory forever.

"I need you." Spencer coughs out before flipping the phone off.

* * *

Right on time, a soft knock came from the backdoor his usual entrance. She opened the door letting him enter, but she stared into his eyes a couple of seconds before falling into his arms and crying. "I'm sorry...I'm soo sorry. I love you so much." Spencer cries before locking lips with Andrew's lips. Spencer couldn't believe how much she actually missed kissing Andrew, it wasn't like the moves where you felt sparks. The kisses he gave her, were more for comfort. They weren't passionate like the ones they first shared, when dating.

Love.

"I promise to never do anything like that again-" Spencer promises before she is hushed up by his soft warm lips. She felt a tear cascade down her face. She couldn't believe her mocha eyes that Andrew was forgiving her for what she did. She hated what she did to him, but it was mostly out of curiosity. Toby didn't even know that it happened, at this moment it was Andrew and Spencer's secret.

 _Noel Kahn's party was getting wilder and wilder each second another person arrived with more alcohol in hand. Andrew wasn't the type to come and party on the weekend. His weekend was already booked including; study and working on his uncle's farmhouse. Spencer had decided to show up to the party with her favorite blue eyed friend, Toby Cavanaugh._

 _After about three drinks Spencer already had a blurry look in her eyes. She was looking for Toby, she needed him. She had to tell him everything. She finally found his blue eyed which were leaning against the wall in the back room with a woman standing in front of him giving him a little show. Spencer harshly pushed away the woman before grabbing Toby's hand._

 _"Hey Spence, what's wrong?" Toby asks completely ignoring what Spencer just did back there. All of his concern was now placed on his friend, she was his first priority when it came to these kind of things. He would easily pick her over some girlfriend like she would pick him over Andrew in some cases._

 _Spencer burped and started feeling very nauseous. She ran to the nearest bathroom which was actually outside and throw up her beverages she drunk. Toby chuckled while holding back her hair. "Now you see why you don't drink a lot." Toby jokes letting go of her hair as soon as she was done._

 _Spencer smiles before leaning a little closer to Toby. "Kiss me." she whispers in a husky voice. Toby feels himself choke on his own saliva after hearing those words. He had been wanting her to say them for a very long time, but he couldn't help but feel saden._

 _She had decided to tell him now when she was fully drunk and out of control. Toby had looked up at Spencer with lust in his eyes. He had been lusting for her touch since the first day they met years ago. He leaned forward and kisses her which turned into a make out. "Let's go back inside."_

 _Hours after the party had ended Spencer sobered up, but Toby was completely drunk at this time forgetting everything that happened at the party from how he got there and to how he got home._

Spencer was in a way thankful that he had completely gotten drunk after the kiss they shared. A couple of days after the kiss, Spe cer had confused to Andrew who broke up with her telling her that kissing her bestfriend crossed the line. Spencer leans against Andrew for support. "It's okay Spence, it was a drunken mistake it wasn't neither one of your guy's faults." Andrew reassures her before pulling her into a long kiss, full of zero passion. The last time she felt passion in a kiss was with Toby at the party.

Her feelings right now were confusing her more then ever. Her heart was telling her to go out and find Toby and kiss him repeatedly, but her gut was telling her that it was the wrongful thing to do to Andrew. She had just kinds got back together already, and her brain was already mentally cheating on him with her bestfriend. Spencer leans out of the embrace looking into Andrew's brown eyes that were full of love, sometimes Spencer would try and look at her own eyes in the mirror trying to find this love. She never found it and she didn't think she ever would.

"Thank you Andrew. For being yourself and so understanding. I love you soo much." Spencer tells him before placing a small kiss on his nose, then on his lips. She places her hand on his chest trying to find the fast heartbeat most guys get when they are around girls they love so much. Spencer finds the heartbeat, but the beat is at a slowed pace making Spencer frown and unconnect her hand with his chest. The woman had only found one man's heartbeat the beated that fast for her which was the one and only Toby Cavanaugh.

"Anytime babe." Andrew answers, but pulls her a little bit closer looking her in the eye. He doesn't end there more words come out of his mouth. "I need you to do something though for me. I need you to do this for me, so I can feel like I can trust you again."

"Anything." Spencer says to him wholeheartedly while smiling ear to ear grabbing ahold of his sofa hand while smiling. Spencer was going to do anything to gain back Andrew's trust. Andrew was one of the most important men in Spencer's life. She needed him and he needed her. He was her soulmate and Spencer knew it too.

Andrew gives her an unsure look before telling her. "Cut all ties off with Toby." Andrew requests on his part. Spencers look up at him with her mouth hanging open slightly. _He couldn't except me to cut him off? Could he?_ Spencer felt her heart crack a little bit..chip by chip. Piece by piece her heart dissolved thinking about throwing Toby away for her life. He had been her bestfriend when nobody else would. He was the person who gave her the courage to even date Andrew, he was also the one to help her become sober again after taking pills.

Spencer looks at him before letting out a soft laugh. "You're kidding. Right?" Spencer jokes before touching Andrew's arm. He jerks it away before shaking his head.

"No i'm not kidding Spencer. It's either him or me? I will give you a couple of days to sort through your feelings, but call me when you make up your mind and don't forget I love you too." Andrew tells her before kissing her on last time and walking out the door leaving a heartbroken Spencer.

Today was the worst day of her life.

Her wrist hurt.

Her boyfriend requested that she let go of her bestfriend.

She gotten the worst hangover ever.

Could her day get possibly any worse?

* * *

 _Okay well that was the chapter. I am sorry if it sucked its 4 in morning where I live and right now my eyes are about to close, so sorry once again. Did you guys like it? Should I continue? Thanks for reading by the way..well for the people who are reading this story. Come on people. I have some people who have favorited this story, yet they aren't reviewing. Can I have at least **5** for this one? Now we know what happened between Andrew and Spencer. Sadly they are kinda together again. Wjo do think she is going to choose Spoby or Spandrew? Guess in the reviews and whoever guesses right gets a sneak peek for next chapter. **-Katrina**_


	4. Chapter 3: Lost Without You

_Thank you soo much for your kind reviews. I am actually surprised that I got so many reviews in a short 24 hour period. Thank you. Okay well Spoby fans I love you. I want you guys to know that. 7 reviews that's just amazing. You guys deserve all of the love in the world. **-Katrina**_

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Lost Without You**

Questioning.

Spencer was contemplating whether to pick her boyfriend or her bestfriend that has been with her since day one. Andrew has been the only man to ever capture her heart, but Toby has been the only one who has comforted her when Andrew and her broke up. Toby was the sweet, blue eyed boy that she became friends with in the third grade. She hated ever second of this thinking process. Pretty eyes was the only person that felt like a big brother that she never had.

The clock ticked by. Hour by hour. Minute by minute. Time went by faster and faster it seemed like, but especially today her clock was spending by. It felt like she was being pulled into a black hole. Her phone went on a beeping rampage gaining Spencer's attention. She flipped over the phone she had thrown about 10 times. It was Toby Cavanaugh with his picture coming onto the screen. Spencer couldn't help, but smile everytime she saw his name pop up on the screen. She felt this kind of rush everytime she heard his name or saw him.

Wanting to accept. It took all of her willpower to stop herself from pushing accept. She let the phone ring until the third ring before pushing decline. The was probably the first time ever that she pushed the red button on her blue eyed friend that meant a lot to her.

Minutes later a crack noise came from outside of her window, Spender thought nothing of it and went back into her thoughts. It seemed like hours later a knocking noise came from the front entrance. Spencer pulls the door making it creak, and it reveals the blue eyes, she had been ignoring all day.

"Why have you been ignoring my calls and texts?" he asks entering the home without permission. He sits on the cream couch in the living room awaiting for the explanation. Spencer follows his actions, but takes a seat across from him in a small brown chair.

Spencer sniffles a bit before talking. "I need to tell you about something, but don't be made at me please." Spencer begs slightly, she sees Toby adjust his body before giving her a simple nod. Spencer continues. "A week ago at the party-"

"Are you talking about the kiss?" Toby asks putting his hand on his face and letting it slide down before sighing. Spencer nods her head, she feels a couple of tears shine in her eyes. She wipes the tears away from her eyes and blinks a couple of times realizing what he had just said. _He knew about the kiss?_ "Spencer I may have been drunk that night, but I did remember that. I didn't want to bring it up just in case it didn't happen."

"Yeah I was kinda in a way hoping that we didn't kiss and it was instead a dream." Spencer admits. Toby expression turns from happy to devastation in a quick flash, but soon a smile appears on his face.

Toby smirks and leans forward closer to his friend. "So what you're saying is that you would rather dream about me. Spencer I am flattered." Toby teases.

"Yep Toby I dream about you everyday." Spencer mocks before laughing with Toby. Spencer's smile falls as soon as she remembers Andrew's words. It was either Toby or Andrew. "That was the reason that Andrew and I broke up over." Spencer recalls.

Toby leans away from Spencer. Spencer took a breath. She didn't even realize she was holding it in. "Toby i'm sorry, but I have to do this. I feel like the worst bestfriend in the world for doing this and I hope one day you will be able to forgive me for this-" Spencer appolgizes. Toby throws his hand in front of her face stopping the words from coming out of her mouth.

"Spencer what's the real reason you were ignoring my messages because I don't think this is just about this kiss now." Toby asks in a slightly demanding voice. Spencer takes a deep breath in, she didn't know if Toby was going to forgive her. She had to do this for Andrew.

A tears run down Spencer's heart shaped face. "I- we can't be friends anymore i'm sorry Toby." Spencer stutters a bit. More and more hot tears cascade down her face, she looks up at a very blurry looking Toby. She could see his expression though. Anger and sadness.

"Why?" Toby chokes out as his first tear comes down his face. For some reason telling Toby she couldn't be friends felt like a knife stabbing into her heart, she felt she was being shredded piece by piece. Spencer shakes her head.

"I can't be tempted to kiss you again and the only way to make that temptation go away is by stop talking to you and seeing you." Spencer reasons. Toby gives her a hard glare before standing up.

"You can't do this to me. We have been friends for longer, then I can remember. You and my mom are the only two people I love. I can't lose you both. I can't. You were the one who helped me get through losing my mom. You were the only one who believed me when I said I didn't kill Alison." Toby recalls with sadness. More tears start coming down his face at a rapid speed.

Spencer couldn't believe she was hurting one of the most important people in her life. She turns around and looks out the foggy window not wanting to see his expression. "Andrew is making me choose you or him and I can't lose him. He is the love of my life. I'm sorry." Spencer appolgizes not wanting to see his heartbreaking face.

"Fine." he spits out with hatred wiping away the tears with anger and opening the big white door and slaming the door making in known that his present in gone. She hated knowing that this situation could have hurt Toby more, then her. She had to do this to keep him safe. Andrew was like a ticking time bomb when he got the slightest bit kf anger inside of him, he would lash out and hurt that person worst.

* * *

"Did you do it?" a voice asks from behind her while cracking his knuckles. Spencer wipes away her teary mocha eyes while giving him a nod. "Answer me when I ask you a question!" Andrew roars with anger hitting the glass cup off of the kitchen table. Spencer doesn't jump at the anger in his voice, she had been dealing with his anger for a year now. It felt natural when he would yell at her now.

"Yes I did it." Spencer answers between tears. Andrew nods his head and looks down at the shards of glass that gleamed on the floor.

Andrew cracks his neck and gestures to the glass on the ground. "Clean the mess up that you created Spence, have I taught you nothing?" Andrew asks stepping a couple steps toward her. He clenched fist connects with the usual target, her stomach. She groans a bit and puts her hands on her stomach. Her mocha eyes look deep into Andrew's dark and hollow brown eyes full of anger, no light just anger.

"Yes Andrew I will do it." Spencer responds in a robotic kind of voice. She grabs the dust pan and begins swepting up the mess Andrew made. After a couple of minutes of her picking up the rest of the glass shards she hears a knock on her front door. She groans a bit and looks over at Andrew with uncertainty in her eyes. He nods his head toward the door.

The female teen answers the door and sees her tall brown haired friend on the othersude wearing a worried look. "Hey Spence. Have you see Toby?" Emily asks giving her friend only a small greeting.

"No why?" Spencer asks accidentally letting a worried look cross over her face. She knew Andrew saw it because he was glaring at her now.

"I went up to his loft a couple of minutes ago because he didn't show up today at our lunch thing. I went inside and all of his stuff was gone. His keys were laying by the bookcase with a letter with your name on it." Emily tells her shyly handing it to her while keeping her eyes locked on an irritated boyfriend.

Spencer opens it and sees a bunch of blurry words before feeling the panic attack set in. "Spencer!" Emily yells leaping forward and catching her timbering friend. Emily catches her. Spencer looks up at Emily with a small smile before falling into a deep world full of darkness.

* * *

 _Okay guys that was some ending. Did anybody expect Andrew to be a type of boyfriend who would hit? I was going to do the whole sneak peek thing, but this chapter took me so long to write because I had my friend over and everything. Well I will update very soon! Now we see why Spencer choose Andrew over Toby. She's scared of Andrew. Okay bye. **5** more reviews plzz. **-Katrina**_


	5. Chapter 4: Ghosts Trying To Talk

_Guys Please stay with me. I know that all of you are probably Spoby Fans, but I promise that this is a Spoby story it is pretty much written in the summary. I myself is a big Spoby Fan 100%. Now I am going to adress all of the reviews, so if you had questions I answered them the best I could without giving anything away. **-Katrina**_

 **SpobyFan4Ever:** _Thank you so much for the incredible review. I think I was smiling as big as an elephant while reading it. Promise me one thing though. That I will get an update for your story A Bride To Be. That story is so good probably way better than this one. Okay well bye girl and I made sure that the whole Andrew thing was going to be surprising. This chapter is going have an incredible ending...you're going to love it!_

 **madisonpllbigA:** _Thank you so much for your kind review and Andrew maybe around for quite a while sorry to say. So you might flip. Keep reviewing. This story is a Spoby story._

 **Guest #2:** _I plan on updating at least once a week or possibly twice depending on my schedule and school._

 **Emilee Amethyst:** _You're going to find out in this chapter what happened to Toby. I will be showing the letter very soon This chapter or next chapter. I always thought of Andrew being a person with possible anger issues._

 **Guest #1:** _I know its horrible that she choose Andrew, but she did it to protect Toby which I have to say on my part sounds like a total Spencer thing. I am going to update once a week or possible twice._

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Ghosts Trying To Talk**

The beeping noice echoed throughout the hospital room. Her mocha eyes flicker open and glance around the white room. She saw Hanna asleep on the sofa with her hand across her blue ocean eyes that reminded her of her bestfriend. _What happened?_ Hanna jolted awake after hearing a small noise come from the bed. A squeak is what she heard. Her blue eyes landed on Spencer's mocha eyes that were wide open and alert trying to figure out what happened. Spencer jogged her memory trying to figure out what could have possibly happened hours before. All she could remember was Emily and Andrew and feeling a small pain from her stomach. _He's gone._ One reason she completely shut down was that the person she trusted her life with was gone and no where to be found. Another reason was that the pain in her stomach was growing every second she was standing in front of Emily hours before.

Hanna stood up from her spot and strolls over to Spencer grabbing a hold of her hand and giving her the best reassuring smile. Her soft hand brushed against her forehead as she moved her hair out of the way. "It's going to be okay." Hanna whispers in a hushed voice pulling the blanket up to Spencer's chin. Spencer feels her eyes become very heavy. She felt her eyelids begging to move, at least blink. Her dreams got pretty wild especially after the first slap she got from her dad when she was a child. She was barely 3 years old and disobeyed her dad, when he asked her to simply clear up her blue crayon that spun in a circle on the floor. A tiny mark was all the crayon made, but her dad's eyes roared with anger, he snapped the ocean colored crayon in half and thrown in across the kitchen hitting the dark blue cabinets. He grabbed ahold of Spencer's collar of her shirt and lifted her up above his head. He dropped her, she hit the dark hard wood floor with a thud.

Tears had spilled down the 3 year old faces. Her dad's brown eyes had disgust in them while he looked down at his brown wavy haired daughter. He had disliked Spencer, he knew she would never be able to be as successful as her older sister. Spencer would die to be like Melissa Hastings; her brown perfect hair, perfect white teeth, her face without a mark on it, and the way the guys would chase her across the world. Melissa that was currently in London with her boyfriend or fiancé, Wren Kingston, who was a doctor.

Spencer opens her eyes once again and sees her old dead friend sitting in front of her, at the foot of the hospital bed. Her blue eyes had life in them even though she had been dead for over 5 years now. "Ali?" Spencer questions rubbing her eyes. She opens them again and sees Alison touching Spencer bare leg with her hand. Her hand still had a soft texture and warmth to it, like she was alive.

"It's me sweetie. Did you miss me? I know that I missed you. watching you everyday go through that mess with Andrew, I wanted to charge into that house and take him apart. Spence, you need to leave now before it's too late before Andrew completely takes over your mind. Leave with Toby and never look back." Alison tells her looking into Spencer's eyes not even blinking. Spencer sits up and crawls closer to the blue eyed friend that all of her friends missed. They didn't miss her actions, but they did miss how she made them feel.

Special.

She would tell them all sorts of things, making them think that they were special to have a kind of friend like Alison Dilaurentis. Smart, beautiful, and popular. Everything a friend could want except she wasn't caring. The young blonde would make fun of people by making up names for them like Lucas-Hermie, Paige- Pigskin, and Mona- Loser Mona. There was a group of people that hated Ali, like an army that Mona Vanderwaal had made. Weeks after the Army was made, Alison Dilaurentis, went missing from Spencer's red barn in her backyard.

"What do you mean?"

Alison looks at her with a small frown before standing up. "Andrew is dangerous and will become even more powerful if you stay by his side and take the beatings. I assure you that if you leave Andrew will never com after you."

"Never?" Spencer asks blinking her eyes a bunch, trying to grasp what her dead friend was trying to tell her. Alison nods her head before grabbing a bottle of medication. She opens the cap and takes some of the red and yellow pills.

Spencer opens her eyes again and sees Emily sitting there with Andrew. Emily rushes to her side as soon as her eyes open. "Where did Hanna go?"

"Hanna left a couple of hours ago. She said that you woke up, but instantly went right back to sleep. Hanna also put some makeup on you, so be warn." Emily tells her sitting on the outer edge of the bed. Spencer sighs and stretches her arms above her head. Andrew comes to Spencer's other side and grabs her hand a little too roughly.

"Hey Emily do you mind leaving the room for a couple of minutes. I wanted to talk to Spence alone for a couple of minutes?" Andrew asks breaking the awkward silence that overcame the group. Emily hesitates at first, but reluctantly agrees leaving the room frowning at Andrew. As soon as the door clicks after Emily's departure. Andrew turns to Spencer with fire in his eyes.

"What were you thinking I could have gotten caught? The doctors noticed the bruise on your stomach and I had to lie and make some excuse up. I never want to do something like that again, you know how I feel about lieing. If you do something like again your punishment is going to be much worse." Andrew roars out of his mouth all most at a yelling voice.

"I'm sorry." Spencer weakly tells him before falling back onto the bed with a sigh. She pulled the worn out sheets up to her shoulders, and turns onto her side facing away from her abuser. She glances toward the door where she watched the silver knob turn and her mother steps in with the eldest daughter by her side.

"Honey what happened?" Veronica asks rushing to her daughter's side and grabbing ahold of Spencer's cold, pale hands. The brunette teen coughs gently before looking over at Andrew with begging mocha eyes. Andrew shakes his head and exits the room. As soon as he left she felt a little bit more happiness in the room with hardly no anger.

Spencer bites her pink lip contemplating what to tell her mom. _Does she tell her the truth or a lie?_ "Nothing Mom it was a panic attack I thought something happened to somebody, but it turned out I was wrong." Spencer answers quickly and leaving off plenty of details.

Her mother shakes her head. "I know you're lieing the doctors asked me and your dad if there was abuse happening at home. Spence who is hurting you and why?"

Spencer closes her eyes trying to turn off the Earth and her mom's pleading questions wanting answers. Spencer knew her mom like the back of her hand. Her mom wasn't going to stop with this matter until she got all of the answers she wanted, especially with her being a lawyer it was going to be harder to dodge hee questions. She knew that evently if she fell asleep her mom would leave it alone for now. That's just what happened. The world around her went into a deep sleep.

* * *

It had been 10 hard days.

10 days since she had a panic attack.

10 days since she had last seen her bestfriend.

Spencer laid on the couch looking down the letter on her hand that her name scratch on a red color. _Spencer._ She had been looking at this letter for days. Only her name though her hadn't worked up the courage to open the whole thing yet. Spencer wanted to travel the world just to find the blue eyed boy she had missing for almost 2 weeks. Now finally she started to unfold the letter carefully reading the top part.

 _Spencer,_

 _I have known you for years, so many years that I can't even count them anymore. In a way I don't want to count them I just wanted to enjoy them with you. Hours before, the words saying that you didn't want to be my friend anymore really cut a knife into my heart. I thought for sure if something like this would happen you would pick me in a heartbeat. Guess my helping you date Andrew didn't mean anything to you. Which is why I am leaving. You know that forever I will be here for you, but knowing that you picked Andrew over me makes it hard to be in the same town with the girl who broke my heart. There is nothing left for me in this town._

 _If you ever need me you know where to find me. I love you with all of my heart Spence and I want you to know that. This may not be the way you want this to end. I feel even more pathetic because I couldn't even get the urge to tell you that I am leaving and not coming back until and unless you need me._

 _Toby_

A heartbreaking sob coming from her throat making her hiccup. Toby was gone. She couldn't believe she made him run away. Toby had run away from Rosewood, so many times Spencer couldn't even count. He had never run away from her though only from his problems. The tears came faster down her face and warmer. Her eyes were bloodshot and moist. She didn't remember the last time she slept, maybe the hospital or the day after. Her brain was like a broken record trying to replay the past couple of years she had been friends with him. Out of all the things she did to him this probably ranked number one as the worst thing.

The only problem was that she didn't stop being his friend because she wanted, she stopped being his friend to protect him from the monster that was currently stationed in her living room. A couple of days ago he made his announcement that he would officially be living under the same roof as her to 'protect her'. A knock echoed throughout the house, Spencer wipes her eyes with a handkerchief that she had gotten from her mother earlier in the hours. She walks down the stairs creeping around Andrew, she could only see the bottom part of the silhouette. The window was being covered halfway by the bamboo blinds. She saw blue jeans, she opened the door and felt a sudden happiness come over her body. It was like sunshine after a rainstorm suddenly the gloomy feeling she had minutes before had all left her body all she could think about was hugging the man in front of her.

"I'm sorry I had to come see you." the voice whispered. Spencer lunged forward and wrapped her arms around her blue eyed bestfriend.

"Toby." Spencer whispers pushing her head into the crook of his neck inhaling his sweet aroma mixed with sawdust, peppermint, and his cologne that Spencer missed with all of heart. There wasn't even a part of her that was angry at him it was all happiness. They heard movement behind them making them break the embrace.

"What's going on here?" an angry voice asks from behind them startling them. Spencer grew a little closer to Toby.

* * *

 _Ooohh cliffy. Sorry guys had to end the Spoby friendship which I had to do because my heartheart was begging for some kind of Spoby hug. Now the real kiss will probably be in a couple of chapters. Hint hint. What is the person talking from behind them? I think you guys can guess. If the letter doesn't make any sense then I will rewrite it. I was writing it front the top of my head this chapter was written in one day in a straight hour. So if it's horrible I am very sorry from the bottom of my heart. Hehe okay well...I would like_ _ **6** reviews this time since I got about 8 last time which was just amazing. Love you guysss. **-Katrina.** Sorry if I forgot to address your review. I will try and do them all in the next chapter... I am not completely sure when I am going to update again possibly Wednesday or Thursday. Not sure yet..just tell me should I continue?_


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